big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
