You work out of a Hotel?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
