Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
