I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
