Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
