whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
