I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
