it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
