I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
love makes seman taste better
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
