you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
