you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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