They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
