girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
