oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
