The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
