Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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