I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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