I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
