sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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