ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
