someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
