At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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