Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
