you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
