Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
