Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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