I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This baby is an asshole
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize