no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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