i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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