We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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