so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
