Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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