I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
