Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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