I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Boobs speak an international language.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
