at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
