so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
