I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
