dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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