you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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