found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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