Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
3 2 1 whiskey
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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