goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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