I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
