just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
