It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
