Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
