i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
