The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
