love makes seman taste better
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
