i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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