hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
