Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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