I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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